You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
