Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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