I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
