NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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