He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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