Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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