If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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