Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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