she woke up with a sticky ear
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
