you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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