i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
