In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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