dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
