new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
