i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
