would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
