i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
