i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
