the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
