i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
