how can u be prego again
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
