Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
