The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
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