brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
