The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
