Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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