Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I intend to get homeless drunk
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
