i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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