yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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