his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
