I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
