Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
