you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
