forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
