We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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