There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
MIDGETS
????
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
