awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
