I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
