just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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