what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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