think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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