Nicole vs. Life
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Oh god it's open bar.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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