Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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