I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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