just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
