Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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