So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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