you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
