Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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