At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
