I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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