Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
