im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
