My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There r osticjed everywhere
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's blow job season.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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