Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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