Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
